I didn't realize when I started this project how incredibly difficult and invasive the process was going to be. That being said, I gave up on writing for a while, as I found that it was just making me more upset about things that I can change than is necessary.
When last I posted, I was discussing my move into our new home. My mother and I moved into a wonderful house that sits on a beautiful lake. While I always had a difficult time with interacting with others growing up, I was able to make a few new friends in the new home. The days of elementary school pass in a blur to me, perhaps because I have chosen to black out the memories, and perhaps because I truly do not remember.
The most significant occurrence during these years was that my mother met the man that would later become my father.
This man, whom I still refer to by his first name came into my life shortly after the time we moved into our new house. He and my mother were married two or three years later, and he has been a constant form of support for me, a fact that I am sure he is unaware of. My relationship with my new step-father was on the rocks for quite some time, as I have said earlier, I do not adjust to change very easily To this day, the man who is now my legal father is still known by everyone who knows my by his first name. This is not out of a lack of respect or any such action, but merely that I cannot bring myself to say the word Dad.
This fact in and of itself is saddening to me.
